Fading like the stars we wish to be

So i’m absolutely exhausted. Totally run down and feeling like crap. I’m doing 36 hours at work when I’m on a 16 hour contact. Takes the piss really, but it can’t really be helped, there’s no-one else to cover the shop floor but me. My manager is off sick after having a heart attack, my work mate is off with breast cancer and my supervisor is off on holiday (which was booked before the other two fell ill) Oh, and the girl who work weekends, doesn’t want any extra hours. 

I’m grateful I’ve got a job, really I am, I know so many people are dying for a job at the minute. But all these hours are just draining me so much. I feel like I don’t live right now, I exist. I’m a doormat, left with all the shit. 

The most annoying thing is, that my company haven’t arranged any cover or anything, to help me out! So, I’m supposed to work 6 9 hour days without any help, and no-one to cover my dinner breaks?! AND, since I feel like shit, what if I need a day off work for being ill myself?! THEN what happens wise guys!? I have so many questions, yet nobody who I can ask. 

Recently my best mate broke up with his girlfriend, and it killed me inside that I couldn’t be there for him, getting drunk, making him smile. Sure, he had other friends to do that for him, but I do feel like I failed him as a best mate for not being there with him. And WHY couldn’t I get to sheffield to see him!? Oh yes, because I’m a doormat. 

Totally feeling as though nobody really gives a shit. Yeah, earning £1,600 in 8 weeks is amazing for a 23 year old, but FUCK MY LIFE, as the holloways once said “whats the point in money, if you got no time to use it” 

- love a very very exhausted and drained Hayley